dream a little dream

I was awake a little after 03:00 this morning, dozed but felt as if I were awake until 04:40, nodded off properly until 05:15 and then again until 06:00 when I got up. It's a pain in the arse when that happens. I toss and I turn, I try to sleep on my back and my front, I arch my back and stretch my shoulders in an attempt to find the OFF switch for my whirring brain. I pull the covers down and then up to see if a temperature change will help and I breath deeply and deliberately to see if getting a bit more O2 onboard will shut me down again. None of this worked last night so I lay there, eyes closed, observing (probably not the correct word) my brain as I tried not to use it but it went about it's nocturnal activities. For the record, this is not a common occurence; every so often, when I have a lot on my mind I'll wake in the night and think about this and that and everything and nothing...but usually I just get up, take a piss and go back to bed and straight back to sleep.

I am used to having strange disjointed dreams that I ocassionally remember, but that fade away as the day gets going. Often they manage to make sense even when linkages are utterly random. In one dream a man turned into a fish; in the context of that dream it made sense. Last night there was no morphing; there were just snippets of what has been and is on my mind. No one thing dominated and nothing persisted, things came and went and came back and went again in no particualr order. I - no, my brain, I don't think I was in control in the way I am when awake-proper - dwelt on nothing. It would consider the workload I am about to inherit as a member of my team resigns (a worry) and then jump to Australian Idol (not a worry) before skipping again to how I would phrase the blog entry for this weirdness and then on and on some more. All very strange.

In other brain news! Sal, copping another weekend of my moodiness, yesterday started searching the internet for anything that might suggest I am either clinically depressed or bipolar. She had asked if I ever awoke in the night and had difficulty getting back to sleep. No, I'd said. Deep joy thought I, at about 03:45 (guesstimate, could have been any time). For the record I scored low on the clinical depression test, failing on several sections (including siucidal thoughts.) So we're going for bipolar (we're! ha!) The question 'can you scuba dive on Prozac?' visited me in the night...and then left, probably replaced by thoughts of how to make an Irish Water Spaniel sit, stay and not chew it's owners arm, or how good it would be for England to win back-to-back World Cups. Weirdness all round.