jesus of Talladega

Talladega Nights is one funny, funny movie.

I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, "Walker,Texas Ranger," and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley

I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey.

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, there's something special about him...

Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus, new born, not even spoken a word yet.

I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!