WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

Oh hang on, no we’re not. But third Aussie has swine flue

She says the only remaining signs of the swine flu she currently has are the remnants of a slight cough.

Now let’s look at that wording; she has “the remnants of a slight cough.” So she has a slight cough. Sheesh people, you don’t need Tamiflu, you need some prescription HardenTheFukUp.


And you just have to love this, She

…slammed British officials for not taking her situation seriously.

OK, so you tested positive. We get that. But take some fucking responsibility; stay at home, wash your hands, don’t cough on your flatmates and don’t share teaspoons. And, wait a minute, YOU HAVE A SLIGHT COUGH! You’ve not got ebola. Swine flu is killing almost NO-ONE.


Twat.


That is the top news item on the Herald, next to “Italian PM to get divorced.” Apparently he, Mel Gibson style, knobs younger ladies. His missus has finally had enough. Fascinating.


Climate change? Going to lose your job and home? Not news…