I am a...?

Wow, October since the last post. Very shabby.

As I ran to work this morning I found myself thinking about how I identity myself. Think Derek Zoolander gazing into a puddle asking "who am I?" and you're probably nowhere near close because I was thinking more along the lines of "what am I?"

I think.

Look, it was a few hours ago and I'm most-of-a-bottle-of-white foggy, so you'll have to bear with me. Bare with me? Whatever, get nude or large scary mammal - up to you.

• I'm a husband. Not a very good one, but a husband nonetheless. 
• I'm a father. I have two daughters. I'm almost certainly a better father than husband. At least to the daughter who calls me "dad." Not so sure about the two-and-a-half year old who calls me "Melv" but I assume she means "dad" when she says "Melv."
• I'm a DBA. That is on my job description and work email signature. I've been a team leader and a manager and a bin-man too. I suppose you are what you're paid to do.
• I'm a diver. I did the course and passed the exam. I have a card in my wallet. I'm a scuba instructor and first aid instructor too; I can show you the cards. So at a stretch I'm an educator (lapsed.)
• I'm a runner.
• I'm not a photographer.

The last two were the ones I was pondering as I ran to work this morning. I am the only one who can decide to make these statements. If you're married you're a husband. If you have passed the PADI open water course you're a diver*. If you're employed as a fireman you're a fireman.

I run and I take pictures. But I'm a runner and I'm not a photographer.

It was only recently that I began to identify as a runner. I'm not sure when the tipping point arrived. I realised this morning when wearing short shorts, a lightweight singlet and wrap around sunglasses with a "bum-bag" on that I didn't think I looked like too much of a twat. That's a sign.

Without wishing to blow too mush smoke up my own arse - so prepare to read a bit of arse-smoke - I have now put in the hard-yards. I've been running for nearly a decade. My first marathon was Paris, 2005 and I've completed a dozen since then. I ran 2500km last year. My largest monthly total is 733km.  But despite that I only started to identify as a runner very recently. Maybe my self-standards are too high, maybe I had a reality check, but whatever, I can now say "I am a runner."

I've been taking pictures for as long as I've been running. But I don't identify as a photographer. I am someone who takes a lot of pictures and has been fortunate enough to befriend photographers and pick up some tips and tricks. I take a lot of pictures, some of which (and my English reserve makes this tough to type) are quite good. But…an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters. I do take a lot of pictues and the maths is in my favour.

A-n-y-w-a-y I'm not entirely sure where I am going with this but the wine has gone and I know my blog still lives so it's time to close.

*debatable, I know...