waiting RIGHT NOW!

It is a long while since I've watched late night TV. Glad I am watching it now, because if I weren't I'd not have discovered that there are hundreds of HOT GIRLS waiting RIGHT NOW to get an SMS from ME. If only I were single I'd be able to meet these chicks on their speedboats. Who falls for that shit? Hold on, if I SMS some other mob I can get a Paris Hilton video to my phone...no wait, maybe I should sign up to meet people just like me in the cyber cafe? So much shit...

And in other news...literally, in the news now...the VBLOC. Fat folks, who we all know make for good entertainment, great news and cutting edge science, can slim with a machine that fucks with their nerve impulses. Or move more and eat less and keep the Aus$20000 the machine costs. Maybe parting with 20grand works by removing the cash they would otherwise spend on pies?

Late night tele rocks.

Bearded bonsai enthusiaist arrested for owning a stash of weapons including a crossbow and rocket launcher. Beard mention is mine, news did not focus on his impressive chin bush. Proper biker-nutter beard and bald head combo though. He must be guilty of something. You just don't get the quality on the prime time news.

Finance news is shit. There is never a good day on the markets. saying there has been a good day is telling lies. The only way to have a good day (make more cash, add more value blah) is for someone else to lose of for us to exploit the planet more or for the numbers to simply be made up boosted bubbles. None of that sounds good to me. Maybe I'm missing something...

Sports news on the other hand is fucking awesome. Cricket once again rocks. "Collingwood playing one of the all time great one day innings..."