company policy

Yesterday we were issued with a new company policy document. Full of all the day-to-day things we are expected to do and not do and the things we must do and the company must do for us. Lots of discussion around that today, and some hilarity at it all. It covers dress code, use of email, the internet and stationary, maternity leave, smoking breaks, discrimination and the such like. Fascinating.

On the plus side I can now wear "business casual" clothes mon-fri. Which is nice. A shame that casual friday has gone and blue jeans and trainers are now out. However, the letter of the law does not prohibit a poncho, safari suit or cuban heels. Excessive makeup is a no-no, though it does not explain who decides what is excessive.

Access to web email sites is now banned. Everyone in IT will, of course, ignore this and therefore, should the boss-man ever want to get rid of the little man the first warning is a dead cert. No buying from eBay or similar blah blah blah. Basically, if you use the internet for anything non-work related you're breaking "the law." So that will be everyone.

I like the bit that says you have a duty to report breaches. If that happens our HR manager will be inundated with emails from people grassing their mates for buying car-cigarette-lighter-USB-chargers, sending emails to their nan or having an ear-ring in the banned top-of-the-ear area (the lobe is OK.)

I like the section on bereavement leave. Though manager discretion is mentioned (eventually) we get what, I suspect, is what a firm is required by statute to give. You are allowed 2 days if someone is at deaths door, or has just passed through it. The company can insist upon seeing a death cert if they think you're making it up and skiving. I added a whole week to my "holiday" (some fucking holiday!) when dad croaked...my bereavement allowance was used up by the end of Tuesday. So the day he died and the rest of the week were, officially, unpaid leave. By statute. I guess I was due back at work on Wednesday, having had a couple of days to get over it and say my goodbyes.

Great, innit?

My company did, of course, give me the whole week as bereavement leave (though payroll needed a prod as they took it first from my annual leave) and I was offered more if I needed it.

Oh, and before I forget, any views expressed here are mine alone and not those of my employer or anyone connected with them. I have to say that, apparently.