House Episode 11 - are we there yet?

How many months since I could last be arsed to put finger to keys to give an update on our painfully slow progress towards getting persmission to add another couple of bedrooms on our house? Four. Anyway, after hating on the son-of-our-neighbour's-landlord for a while we have moved on to slack-jawed incrdulity at the workings of council. Stormwater planning is our last hurdle. Well, the last one we know about. We had to do two things; ask our neighbours for stormwater easement access to their property ("can we dig a hole in your yard, bury a stormwater pipe and then put your garden back as it was?") and put together a stormwater management plan in case our neighbours said no. Which they did.

So we asked our neighbours and they said no. But,we didn't ask them right. We needed to make sure we made a fair and reasonable offer, and apparently saying we will pay all costs and make good any repairs was not fair and reasonsble enough for council. So we had another go and slung a two grand sweetner on top, compensation for inconvenience. The neighbours once again said no, which is fair enough. We had Plan B, the absorption trenches plan from a hydrological engineer, so we're all good, right?


Well no. The stormwater plan showed our trenches near a retaining wall and we needed an structural enginner to certify that the wall would not be impacted by the trenches. It didn't matter that the hydro engineer was also a structural enginner. Oh no, you see he was working in his hydro capacity. And that isn't structural. So he had to come back, kick the wall, draw another picture and say the wall he showed on his plans would not be impacted by his plans and would still be there if we follwed his plans. So now council are happy right?


Well no. The stormwater plan is ok, but the second letter to the neighbours isn't. The part where they indicate whether or not we can have easement access was on the third page, after the details and the offer. I had foolishly inserted a page break. And I'd not inserted page numbers - I was marked down for that as well. So (deep breath) I need to insert page numbers and move the signature part to page two. Then get the new and improved letter signed by neighbours who must be sick to death of me asking them the same question so they can give the same answer. You see council don't know that our neighbours read the last letter. I'm amazed that council can recognise the signatures as kosher, but there you go.

We're now being held up because council don't like the formatting I used. No problem with the content. My initial reaction was "You're fucking joking right? I mean for fucks sake, if you want to know if our neighbiours read the letter you could, I dunno, call them, or pop around and ask? How the bollocking fuck do you know it is even our neighbours' signature on the letter? I could have signed them myself! I didn't, but I could have."

Having had the chance to sleep on it my reaction is now "You're fucking joking right? I mean for fucks sake, if you want to know if our neighbiours read the letter you could, I dunno, call them, or pop around and ask? How the bollocking fuck do you know it is even our neighbours' signature on the letter? I could have signed them myself! I didn't, but I could have."

And how about this; two weeks ago I asked if this new letter was OK. Council could have been just a wee bit helpful and told me what fucking font to use. For fucks sake.